I don't want to stay here anymore. The jokes mom are making always seemed to tick me off in the wrong way. I don't want to take things seriously but some things have its own limit. She always seem to take things too far when it comes to me. I hate admitting that I feel lonely or jealous of my siblings and that's precisely why I want to get out from this house. Harboring too much negative feelings is not my thing. I don't want to explode and regret a lot of things later. I did tell myself not to give a fuck about them but I'm not sure how long can I stand this. People always assume this as something small that can be settled in an instant but I don't handle things like that. If I treasure someone, I cannot take things lightly. Everything that person says matter a lot and that's why every thing they spout can leave an emotional effect in me. I don't want to share this problem with other people either. I hate people assuming that I'm childish for not being able to handle this without crying. I hate the fact that I'm still studying and am still relying on my family to live. I hate the fact that I have so many people to treasure. And I hate the fact how I still fail to resolve my own problems by myself without having too many emotional breakdowns. 

I don't want to stay here anymore. The jokes mom are making always seemed to tick me off in the wrong way. I don't want to take things seriously but some things have its own limit. She always seem to take things too far when it comes to me. I hate admitting that I feel lonely or jealous of my siblings and that's precisely why I want to get out from this house. Harboring too much negative feelings is not my thing. I don't want to explode and regret a lot of things later. I did tell myself not to give a fuck about them but I'm not sure how long can I stand this. People always assume this as something small that can be settled in an instant but I don't handle things like that. If I treasure someone, I cannot take things lightly. Everything that person says matter a lot and that's why every thing they spout can leave an emotional effect in me. I don't want to share this problem with other people either. I hate people assuming that I'm childish for not being able to handle this without crying. I hate the fact that I'm still studying and am still relying on my family to live. I hate the fact that I have so many people to treasure. And I hate the fact how I still fail to resolve my own problems by myself without having too many emotional breakdowns.