I'm really sorry for ignoring your message. I know I've been forgiven, but I don't think your heart does. Ahh-- wait. That's not what I'm trying to say. Ng.. I mean, I don't believe someone like you would forgive me that easy. It's not like I don't trust you because I've been ignoring you these days or, whatsoever..! It's because I never had any friends that would forgive me like that -- just by saying "I forgive you" . It's -- It's too honest --- arghh, no. That's not it. Suspicious, maybe..? Urghh. Sorry, I couldn't explain it to you. #This isn't how I express my feelings to others after all, Aasif.#

Aini. I've changed so much since that day. But, not to a better person. 

My heart feels like I've left something important behind. Because of that, I prefer to be alone. Then, my life was ruined. It feels like I have given up to keep living. I have lost contact with my old friends and I don't get along with my little sister anymore. I kept scolding my little sisters when they did mistakes and I kept turning to a deaf ear to my parents' advices. Even keeping myself online on facebook was so hard and painful after everything I did to you. Everything was so much to accept. 

I'm so slow to realize it now that the important 'thing' I have left behind was you. There's no doubt. 

When problems came, you were the only one in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking that "I have lost someone I could depend on. The shoulder that I can cry on. And the one that would accept me as who I am right now." 

. I ignored you, tried to avoid you if possible and find new friends to smile with. Does that mean I'm running away? Running away from struggles but wishing for happiness? What a lame and coward person I am (..right now ).

# It's stupid of me to think that I'll get along with you back after everything I did to you # I'm sorry, Aini. I hope the "..Best Friends Forever.." that we meant before will last long.  InsyaAllah. : )) . And, also, thanks for everything.

I'm really sorry for ignoring your message. I know I've been forgiven, but I don't think your heart does. Ahh-- wait. That's not what I'm trying to say. Ng.. I mean, I don't believe someone like you would forgive me that easy. It's not like I don't trust you because I've been ignoring you these days or, whatsoever..! It's because I never had any friends that would forgive me like that -- just by saying "I forgive you" . It's -- It's too honest --- arghh, no. That's not it. Suspicious, maybe..? Urghh. Sorry, I couldn't explain it to you. #This isn't how I express my feelings to others after all, Aasif.#

Aini. I've changed so much since that day. But, not to a better person. 

My heart feels like I've left something important behind. Because of that, I prefer to be alone. Then, my life was ruined. It feels like I have given up to keep living. I have lost contact with my old friends and I don't get along with my little sister anymore. I kept scolding my little sisters when they did mistakes and I kept turning to a deaf ear to my parents' advices. Even keeping myself online on facebook was so hard and painful after everything I did to you. Everything was so much to accept. 

I'm so slow to realize it now that the important 'thing' I have left behind was you. There's no doubt. 

When problems came, you were the only one in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking that "I have lost someone I could depend on. The shoulder that I can cry on. And the one that would accept me as who I am right now." 

. I ignored you, tried to avoid you if possible and find new friends to smile with. Does that mean I'm running away? Running away from struggles but wishing for happiness? What a lame and coward person I am (..right now ).

# It's stupid of me to think that I'll get along with you back after everything I did to you # I'm sorry, Aini. I hope the "..Best Friends Forever.." that we meant before will last long.  InsyaAllah. : )) . And, also, thanks for everything.